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Absolute Bounty

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Jonah Woodson was abused and eventually sold into child slavery by his alcoholic stepfather, who was married to his half-Apache mother before her death. The other children in the sex-trafficking ring looked to young Jonah for protection, and they eventually helped each other escape; the kids found their way into nice foster homes as their abusers faced justice. Jonah grew into adulthood as a self-reliant and diligent (if short-tempered) man, and he joined the military right out of high-school. Serving in the US armed forces during Operation: Desert Storm, Prvt. Jonah Woodson and his close friend Prvt. Jeb Turnbull were stationed in Kuwait when they took on a prostitute, who actually allowed for Islamic extremists to sneak their headquarters and massacre the troops stationed within. Jeb was killed in the crossfire, and the terrorists captured Jonah and tortured him (leaving half of his face very scarred and mutilated). He returned to the US with a purple heart and nasty rumors about how his mistake, leading to the nickname Jonah Hex”.
Moving back to his stepfather's hometown of Tombstone, Colorado, he managed to find out that his father passed away years ago from suicide. Jonah then joined the US Immigration and Customs Enforcement Agency (ICE), which was formed after the attempted terror attacks on September 11, 2001 (which were thwarted by a metatalented being called the Superman). Jonah became a reputable agent of ICE and helped them crack down on an influx of illegal immigrants. The leader of a feared group of coyotes, human smugglers, was an American woman named Mary Kay Tanner, who had united her resources with those of Antonio Diego, a drug trafficker, to prevent ICE from interfering with their businesses any further. Along with his partners Barton “Bat” Lash and Kate Manser, Jonah Hex raided a warehouse full of illegal aliens and killed a bit of the coyotes running the joint. One of the aliens tried to fight against Jonah, and Jonah was about to shoot him, but the sight of his pregnant wife made him change his mind. He then turned to the sound of Tanner being shot dead along with Manser and Lash being knocked out. An old man with an eagle-topped cane had arranged for Tanner's coyote forces to be attacked, so that he and his thugs can take down Jonah. A thug KOed Jonah with a rifle butt to the face, and everything went black...

Notes:
* Woodson sounds like a better last name than Hex, so Hex is his nickname.
* To make major characters in Absolute DC more relevant to modern readers, I changed Jonah from a Wild West bounty hunter to a modern day government agent working in the Southwestern states, fighting against illegal immigration.
* Jonah's new design is based on Ben McCall from the video game “Call of Juarez: The Cartel”.
* I am not entirely sure where Jonah was born in the normal comics, so I went with Tombstone, Colorado.
* May Kay Tanner's nickname in the normal comics is “Leather”.
* Antonio Diego was a former luchador wrestler who was kicked out of the league for steroid use, so he turned to the drug trade for money. He will eventually make his way to Pittsburgh, PA and set up shop there.
* Kate Manser's nickname in the comics is “Cinnamon”.
* Jonah Hex's story will continue with him and his captor and will link back to the events of the Kuwait massacre he survived...
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Comments11
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I read on Cracked.com that the movie Wild Wild West was a rip-off of a Batman: The Animated Series episode called Showdown, focusing on Jonah Hex fighting Ra's al Ghul and Batman was barely in it. Even Cracked said that this episode would be an even better Jonah Hex movie than Jonah Hex.

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