Sta.sh
(The comic starts with a flashback to the fallout of the havoc that occurred at the Grand Galloping Gala, during the episode The Best Night Ever. However, the craziness is happening at the perimeter of this single panel, and at the center is Prince Blueblood, looking emotionally traumatized and soaked with cake. In the episode, he had treated his date, Rarity, and her friends very rudely the whole night, including shoving Rarity into the path of an airborne cake that would have hit him instead; Rarity told him off and heaped all that cake detritus on him in fit of rage. Being the pompous airhead he is, Blueblood clearly believes that she was in the wrong for this supposed affront to his royal self. A few days after the Gala fiasco, Blueblood is walking the streets of Canterlot with his bodyguards and servants, including his right-hoof Doorsmund [based on the Canterlot Castle bellhop from future episode Sweet and Elite], still fuming over Rarity.)
Blueblood: “Who does she think she is? That filly has tangled with the wrong stallion! Nopony says "no" to Prince Blueblood!”
Doorsmund: “Darn right!”
Blueblood: “Dismissed! Rejected! Publicly humiliated! Why, she must have something rotten inside her.”
Doorsmund: “More cider?”
Blueblood: “What for? Nothing helps. I'm disgraced.”
Doorsmund: “Who, you? Never! Your Majesty, you've got to pull yourself together.”
(Music begins)
Doorsmund:
Gosh, it disturbs me to see you, Blueblood,
Looking so down in the dumps.
Ev'ry colt here'd love to be you, Blueblood,
Even when taking your lumps.
No stallion in town's as admired as you;
You're ev'ryone's favorite guy.
Ev'rypony is inspired by you
And it's not... very hard... to see why...!
No-... one's... slick as Blueblood!
No-one’s quick as Blueblood!
No-one's horn's as incredibly thick as Blueblood's!
For there's no stallion half as mighty,
or perfect; you're so marvelous!
You can ask any Tom, Joe, or Steven
And they'll say who they'll never consider a dud...!
Doorsmund and stallion chorus:
No-... one... wins like Blueblood!
A kingpin? That's Blueblood!
No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Blueblood!
Blueblood:
As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating!
Doorsmund and stallion chorus:
My, what a guy, that Blueblood!
Give five "hurrahs!"
Give twelve "hip-hips!"
Doorsmund:
Blueblood is the best
and the rest is... all... drips!
Doorsmund and stallion chorus:
No-... one... fights like Blueblood!
Knocks out lights like Blueblood!
In a wrestling match, nopony BITES like Blueblood!
Mare chorus:
For nopony's as burly and brawny!
Blueblood:
As you see, I have biceps to spare!
Doorsmund:
Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny!
Blueblood:
That's right! And every last inch of me's covered with hair...!
Random pony: “Umm...” (drowned out by music)
Doorsmund and stallion chorus:
No-...one... hits like Blueblood!
Matches wits like Blueblood!
Doorsmund:
In a spitting match, nopony spits like Blueblood!
Blueblood:
I'm especially good at expectorating! (Ptooie!)
Stallion chorus:
Ten points for Blueblood!
Blueblood:
When I was a colt I ate four dozen eggs
Ev'ry morning to help me get large!
Now I'm an adult who eats FIVE dozen eggs,
so I'm roughly the size of a barge...!
Doorsmund and stallion chorus:
No-...one... spells like Blueblood!
Wins those belles like Blueblood!
Doorsmund:
And scares manticores out of their shells like Blueblood!
Blueblood:
I've self-portraits in all of my decorating!
All:
Say it again!
None's as great as he's been!
And then say it once more!
Who's our hero next door?!
Who's a super success?
Don't you know? Can't you guess?
Ask his fans and his five hangers-on!
There's one stallion in town who's got... all... of... it... DOWN...!
Doorsmund:
And his name's B-L-U-...
B-? B-L-U-E-? B-L-U-B-L-?... oh!
All:
Blueblood...!!!
(End of song and comic)
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