literature

Unoservix-Inspired MLPFiM Musical Short 5/5

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Literature Text

(The comic opens Twilight Sparkle organizing an emergency town meeting at the Ponyville Town Hall. She is on a large wooded platform where she reveals a magic barrier she created. Inside the barrier is Apple Bloom, who had contracted a mysterious disease called Cutie Pox, which speckles her coat with Cutie Marks and she is forced to perform the talents the Marks represent. Twilight Sparkle's warning to the town is the song: )

(*Over the course of the song, Apple Bloom accidentally escapes her magic containment field and then, coincidentally, performs the actions mentioned in the song and terrorizes the citizenry as she does it.)

Everypony, listen up!
Your attention, if you please?
I wanna give you a warning,
'Cause I found out this morning,
About a dangerous, insidious, contagious virus.

If you should get in contact with this infected filly,
Forget about taking your chances,
Under no circumstances, should you avoid help,
Or else it will:

Make you rewrite your work in Swahili.
Make you cook the finest linguine.
Neuter your pets and smite your laundry's static cling!

Look out! It's gonna make you curd your own cheese!
Look out! Make you record the process on your own DVDs!
Look out! Reformat your hard drive, your backups, too,
And the hard drives of anypony nearest to you!

Virus Alert!
Retreat immediately 'fore somepony gets hurt,
And send this message on to everypony!

Soon, very soon, it will make you repaint all your walls.
It'll make you bake cheddar biscuits,
Give your poodle a haircut,
And invest your cash in stock in the right companies!
Then, you will tie up your phone, making some clever prank calls.
You solve a Rubik's Cube in an hour and start cleaning the shower,
So just run far now, or else it will:

Decide to make you skilled at giving wedgies,
Talented at stir-frying veggies,
Even fix up the pH balance in your pool!

Look out! You're gonna think up plays right off your skull!
Look out! And you will master songs written by Jethro Tull!
Look out! And write down knock-knock jokes while you're trying to sleep!
Look out! And make you shear every one of your sheep!

Look out! You'll build a castle made out of playing cards!
Look out! You will start sewing nothing but leotards!
Look out! Then you'll clean and tidy up your living space,
Cause there's a bunch of candy wrappers all over the place!
That's right, it's a:

Virus Alert!
Retreat immediately 'fore somepony gets hurt,
And send this message on to everypony!

Virus Alert!
Retreat immediately 'fore somepony gets hurt,
And send this message on to everypony!
Warn all your friends, send this to everypony!
Everypony you know, tell everypony now.

If you get infected, you'll wish you had never been born,
So before you drown your friends in home-made kettle corn,
Shave off all your hair from top your head down to our crown,
Bag it and then drop it in a hole in the ground.
Bury it completely; rocks and boulders should be fine,
Then burn all the clothes you may have worn any time you were alive!

Virus Alert!
Retreat immediately 'fore somepony gets hurt,
And send this message on to everypony!

Virus Alert!
Retreat immediately 'fore somepony gets hurt,
And send this message on to everypony!

Virus Alert!
Retreat immediately 'fore somepony gets hurt,
And send this message on to everypony!
Warn all your friends, send this to everypony!
Everypony you know, tell everypony now.

What are... you wait...ing for? 
Just hurry up and be sure to warn every pony that you know! 
Run. Fast. Right. Now...!


(The song ends with Twilight Sparkle staring feverishly into the eyes of Zecora, who wordlessly reveals that she had cured Apple Bloom of the Cutie Pox about 4 stanzas of the song ago.)

Twilight Sparkle: “Oh...”
Inspired by :iconunoservix: and his musical My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic comics, which mostly use songs from movies and are centered around (a) certain character(s) or episodes.

Read "State of the Uno" [link] for all the comics he did so far and possible plans for future comics.

For this final (hypothetical) comic, I wanted to do one based on an original song by Weird Al Yankovic, Virus Alert [link] . I originally wanted Discord doing all that crazy stuff, but then it occured to me that it should be the Cutie Pox reeking havoc upon the town, which would make a lot more sense for re-writing the lyrics.

Finally done with derping around with this spontaneous, fan-of-a-fan side project and can get back to what I really want to do: jack sYay!t!

Discord and the CMC- "Friend Like Me": [link]
Diamond Tiara and the Foal Free Press- "Dirty Laundry": [link]
The Creatures of the Everfree Forest- "Secret of Survival": [link]
Prince Blueblood: [link]
Twilight Sparkle and Apple Bloom- "Virus Alert": Guess what.
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